To Soar On Wings As Eagles...
I would like to share with others what happened to me thirteen years ago, and how God became very real and personal to me. My marriage was falling apart, on the verge of divorce because of alcoholism. I was a young mother with two children under the age of five,and was the type of person who always tends to be trusting of others. I had never known the heartache of betrayal or experienced the lonliness of separation. When this happened to me, I became very angry, hateful, mistrusting, and bitter. I refused to forgive, even though I knew that it was wrong inside my heart. I truly wanted to change it, but didn't know how. I started searching for God, and at one point I thought I had found Him, and "the way" to forgiveness and serenity.
I had started counseling with a woman who was very kind and caring, and never charged me money for her advice. She always had a bible nearby, and I thought she was a christian because of the love that she showed. Her compassion and empathy caused me to desire those same characteristics in my own life. I was an open receptical at that point in my life, just waiting for something, (or anything) that would replace all the pain I was feeling. It was hard to accept that one I loved most could resort to such betrayal and ruin all trust that I had in people.
I was looking for something that was "spiritual," because I wanted to know God, and have what my older sister always told me about-- A personal friendship with God through Jesus Christ. We were raised to believe in God as children, and brought to church, but no one had ever told me what it meant to have a personal relationship with God. I did not know how to talk to God or how to learn to know Him, and I thought that this woman could help me find my way.
Together we counseled and I read books she gave me. Our sessions also included talking about the bible, but we never talked about the passages that say all of us have sinned against God. We also prayed together alot, and she would call me at home to check in on me. She convinced me that I needed to further explore my feelings so I started meditating with her. Then she led me further into the supernatural realm, experimenting with healing crystals (or spirit stones), using herbs and teas, and smoking marijuana to relax our minds. At that point, she told me I was ready to go through a "re-birthing," or a deeper kind of meditation technique that she would guide me through. This would also be a way to meet my "spirit guide", and "my higher self." Our session began as a kind of breathing & cleansing exercise. She was praying and laying her hands on me, and referring to our "christ selves." I felt as if a surge of electricity had entered my body,and thought this had to be of God because it felt very enlightening to my spirit. After a very long session with her one day, I felt as if I had entered another realm of being. It was almost like I was floating up in heaven, then she said to me "look, here HE is!" When I looked up, I saw what I thought was Jesus Himself walking towards me, with His arms opened wide, ready to embrace me. I was in absolute AWE that the Lord Himself would come to ME of all people. "This is it I thought, " just what I have been searching for. This "spirit guide" looked similar to what I would imagine Jesus to look like. He was surrounded by a halo of light, carried a staff, and wore a robe and sandals. When he came towards me, I was actually lifted to my feet by him. He told me that I must forgive others so I could grow with him, and I believed that it really was Jesus Christ speaking to me!!!
Excitedly, I drove home afterwards to call my sister and tell her I had finally seen the Lord, and knew what it meant to be born-again of the spirit. My sister questioned me intently, and then let me know that she felt that I had been deceived by an angel of light. "What happened to you is not from God," she said, and suggested that I read 2 Corinthians 11:14, which says that "satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." What I had considered to be the most important thing that had ever happened to me, turned into even more confusion. I told my sister that she had had no right to tell me that what I had experienced was not from God. I was really angry and thinking what a hypocrite she was for ruining my spirtuality. If that was what it meant to be a christian, I didn't want any part of it. At that point, my sister challenged me to test God, feeling certain that He would prove Himself to me if I was really seeking the truth to know Him. She knew satan and his disguised demons would have to flee and stop harassing me. She also knew that God is NOT the author of confusion and would prove His love towards me.
At her suggestion, I decided to take a long walk by the lake near my home. Heading towards a place called the tressel, I cried out towards the sky saying things like "I've stopped trying to believe in You," and why would a loving God allow my family be destroyed?" I arrogantly challenged God to provide evidence of Himself to me. (how blind is that when one is totally surrounded by the world He has created?)
I was spent and sat down and cried for a long time. When I had no more tears left to cry, I then felt an urge to lift my head and look up! Two beautiful bald eagles, flying side by side were coming right towards me. They flew over my head so close to me, that I could feel the wind from their wings. They soared over me together, and then flew back by me one more time, and then went down the shoreline back to the same place from where I had first seen them coming towards me.
I was awestruck, and knew that it had to be a sign from heaven. Excitedly I ran to my car and drove home (too fast). I found my dusty Sunday school bible in a box, opened it up, and started to read down the page which nearly jumped up to me...."They who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." I had opened the bible to the book of Isaiah, chapter 40:31. As I read on I began weeping and told God how sorry I was for being angry at Him and doubting His existence. He instantly breathed His spirit into me, and I knew without a doubt that I had encountered the living God that day. HE revealed Himself to me in the most personal way possible and gave to me a very unique salvation experience. It was so "freeing" and enlightening. I still to this day feel very personally blessed and loved by Him. I shall never forget and will forever cherish that life-changing experience of being born for the second time!
The bible says in the book of Matthew, chapter 7 "ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened." This world can lead you astray, people you trust will deceive you, the devil is real and does blind us to the truth, and the "new age" movement is just an old lie that wants us to doubt all of God's words. It teaches that everything is God, God is in everything, and we can be like God. It is very deceiving and alluring but Jesus Christ is faithful to love us and HE is in control of everything. God almighty sent those two bald eagles to fly towards me that day. He knew exactly what I would need at that moment to be set free and surrender my heart to Him. What an awesome God we serve! This story is only the beginning of my wonderful relationship with Jesus Christ. I believe that someday when the time is right, all of my loved ones will also experience that "wind from heaven," and soar on wings like eagles. When this comes to pass all the glory and honor shall be given to Jesus Christ alone. He alone is worthy to be praised for this testimony!!! I love you Lord!
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